True independence.
“Freedom lies in being bold.” ~ Robert Frost
Years ago, the great American mythologist Joseph Campbell told a powerful story to Bill Moyers while filming the PBS documentary, The Power of Myth.
Campbell: Remember the last line [of Babbitt]? “I have never done the thing that I wanted to in all my life.” That is a man who never followed his bliss. Well, I actually heard that line when I was teaching at Sarah Lawrence.
Before I was married, I used to eat out in the restaurants of town for my lunch and dinners. Thursday night was the maid’s night off in Bronxville, so that many of the families were out in restaurants. One fine evening, I was in my favorite restaurant there, and at the next table there was a father, a mother, and a scrawny boy about twelve years old.
The father said to the boy, “Drink your tomato juice.”
And the boy said, “I don’t want to.”
Then the father, with a louder voice, said, “Drink your tomato juice.”
And the mother said, “Don’t make him do what he doesn’t want to do.”
The father looked at her and said, “He can’t go through life doing what he wants to do. If he only does what he wants to do, he’ll be dead. Look at me. I’ve never done a thing I wanted to in all my life.”
And I thought, “There’s Babbitt incarnate.”
That’s the man who never followed his bliss. You may have a success in life, but then just think of it—what kind of life was it? What good was it—you’ve never done the thing you wanted to do in all your life.
I always tell my students, go where your body and soul want to go. When you have the feeling, then stay with it, and don’t let anyone throw you off.
Hemingway wrote: “To calmly watch the bull come is the most necessary and primarily difficult thing in bullfighting.” And so too with true independence. You listen, calmly, to the incredibly loud, fearful voice of society and then... you ignore it and move in your direction. You do what you really want to do with your one wild and precious life.
Don’t hypnotically follow society’s script. Don’t get lost in a delusional hero story. Be bold and uniquely you.
That is true independence. That is freedom.
P.S. Here’s a link to a short Q&A I recently did called “Short Life Lessons.” My answers may surprise you.
Stay passionate!